The Rock Rules My Life

Music I like this week
Things I have been rocking out to on the train.

Rogue Wave
Rilo Kiley
Midlake
The National
Yesayer

Oh yeah and honorable mention goes to:

Band of Horses

For putting on amazing --sold out -- live show at the paradies...
One of the best live bands I have seen in some time...

Dance Party

So I went to a dance party this weekend. I won't disclose which one that might give away my secret identity, which I can't do. I would like to think that makes me cooler than you but not really since all the people in line were far cooler than me, I don't think it does... And what is cool anyway... Cool is so high school but is seems like something that way too many people seem to buy into. People will spend a ton of money being cool and still go home feeling like shit at end of the day.

But overall the dance party was fun. I got there with my partner in crime at about midnight. It was to capacity so it means we had to stand out in the freezing cold drinking coat pocket PBR's.
So after about half an hour of standing in line like total chumps we got in. The music was OK... It was of the house raver vain. I was kind of hoping for more of the Justice or the Knife vain. I felt like I was at a rave. I have not been to a rave since like 1999. I felt kind of stuck in 1999. I am sure the ones in NYC are better because shit like that is always better in NYC. Either way a good time was had by all there... Some people were chill, some folks were dancing up a freak storm letting there flag fly... All depends upon what level of public self expression they were comfortable with.

It was sponsored by puma. I should get some free shit for name dropping them in this here blog since blog marketing is giant right now. But most likely not since I have like no readers. Well maybe two...

After I left the "dance Party" I ate some late night pizza it was a good slice. Most of the time I do not like to eat pizza but at 3AM it is some good shit. The person I was with cut the line and almost got beat up... But he is good at acting dumb so it all worked out.

Flowers

How come you get flowers from people when you think you are being an asshole? Why can't you get flowers from people when you think you are amazing?

Life lesson - be a bigger asshole = get more flowers

The Challenge

Are you up for the challenge? What happens when it is all done? What are you left with yourself? And this job it sucks and it does not fill me. And all my love it sucks and it does not fill me... And when I got to put the pieces together they do not fit and I come up empty. I wish I could be all laid back with my mind on my money and my money on my mind like snoop dog it works for him. He does not give a fuck he lives in the moment the checks roll in and the bitches line up and he is conducting some damn good business. He does not over think things... Probably does not care who he walks over on his way to the top... That is why I should be all gangsta n’ shit... I think I need something that is so fucking intense that I can't think five minutes in front of me like running a marathon and your body aches and you think you just can't take it anymore and it is totally consuming... or someone dying in your arms Like when there is just a line of things in front of you and all you can think of is how the hell am I am going to get all this shit done.. That is what I need a line... and big mother fucking line of people all screaming at me to do something and then when I do it... I can feel great like I changed something like it made some sort of difference like it was all for something not just so time passing and it can be measured in something like success no matter how petty it is... I wonder if they go home and feel filled or if everyone stills feel fucking empty... I wish I believed in a god and if there was one it would fill me... Like how it does my grandmother and how they can turn to it for guidance when there is no light and I wish I could believe in a god and if I did he could save me from myself or just make me live better with myself.. Or just do things for his reasons not for my own... But I do not know if I would like to live my life scared with the lights out afraid to walk alone at the end of the day... but either way I am terrified that my own echo will someday be the only thing that comes to comfort me.

What is this?

This blog is my dirty little secret. It is all about life. Ghost blogging. Also about trying to be cool and paying your bills at the same time. About boys, sex, love, work and mother earth. Whatever the hells pop in my head at the moment. A stream of ones consciousness in the vast waste land of life...

How to keep in all in balance and what I think about it when it all falls out of balance...
All there straight out for you reading pleasure.