tired angry and ready to fight

My work was long...My night is going to be long...My brain it works in third gear when it really should be in fifth..I feel burnt.I feel empty.Writing this maybe it makes it feel better.Walking home from work always helps.Do you ever wish you had an off button. Or just an easy button.At the end of the day we rush like rats only there is never enough cheese at the end of the line. Never enough love in our hearts. Just never enough to make it OK.To make life simple and happy like a TV ad from the 50’s about baking cakes.I wish baking cakes did it for me. I wish I could get off on baking a cake... That would be amazing... I am over complicated I over complicate things.I get bored. I can’t be alone. I know all this.I wish I could fix it...Again I write, this just rushing like a river.I live on the edge of where somethings is.Tucked in the fray... Sometimes music helpsa broken song for the broken.I wish I could drink enough to write my mind.I wish could drain the blood from my veins all cinematic.Do I really need to know the poet’s fucking name when I am the poet.Not saying that I am good just that I am.onto the 22nd century...As the trees lay dying and everyone has there own sex robot like the man on NPR talks about and we are not really human and our love is now mechanical as well and our children will be well oiled.I should feel so special to be one of the last of a dying race.I should feel to proud to be so organic... all full of concealed corn.. all ripe for the picking and full... I should feel so proud, so spoon feed part of the first of a generation deemed to worst the one before it... When it all falls down we sit where our parents stood.. We sit where they stood. I should feel so proud so overworked and empty... I should feel so proud to be part of such a fine oiled vacant machine. a fine oiled vacant machine... production is always up and the cost is always down... More for less isn’t that what we are made of?I have to much time and the rest of my generation cause they are off fighting some war on some soil I have never seen.. and I can’t say I know what it is like or if we are making a difference. I just listen to what the TV tells me but it changes from station to station. Like my mood changes from hour to hour. Like everything else in life you never really know what is going on and it all just depends on how you look at it. How you spin it. Primarily everything we do is bad it hurts mother earth... I never meant to hurt somethings so beautiful but I do it over and over everyday. So carefree and careless with my styrofoam cup and I only drink water from a bottle. Cause I just read on the news there are drugs in our water and I know some big corp. is really excited about this discovery. Mother earth is so crippled she can no longer wipe her own ass so we just let in sit there rotting in her own fecies just like we do with our old, our sick and our dying.And you ask me why at the end of the day i am so vacant... Its a personal thing, or is it. Maybe it is a global thing.. Maybe my love does not work cause this generation is hateful with out trying and loveless and godless...Not to say I am any better.. I am just making an observation as these words roll off my lips...There is music in my kitchen.. I hear the swishing of my roommate brushing her own teeth. I can’t stand to be alone sometimes.. and the lengths I go to fix that with out actually healing anything... without actually healing anything... This is going to be a long night.